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“A whole new spectrum of dating behaviour has evolved on ‘the apps’. Habits that, while now common, are still odd things to do<\/a>.<\/p>\n Someone might seem very interested but then ‘ghost’ or ‘orbit’ (which means they stop replying to messages but still engage with your social media<\/a> content, liking your posts and photos); or tell obvious but seemingly unnecessary lies; another person might read ‘the riot act’ on a first date, sternly laying down their terms for how the relationship should progress; and there are endless stories about dates reacting bizarrely, even menacingly, if rejected. …<\/p>\n I<\/a> did my own share of things which probably<\/a> ended up being discussed in pubs. … I did it because I could get away with it. We didn\u2019t know anyone in common. Who would he tell? …<\/p>\n A new book<\/a>, The New Laws of Love<\/a>: Online Dating and the Privatization<\/a> of Intimacy, by Marie Bergstr\u00f6m, … illuminate[s] a culture<\/a> where dating is often so detached from their wider social network that the idea<\/a> of mixing the two evokes panic. …<\/p>\n Many of the women she interviews say they prefer to use apps for casual sex and relationships to avoid judgment from their peer group. … ‘it is discretion rather than sexual assertion’ that makes these apps popular.<\/p>\n Meanwhile, the men she interviews frequently reveal themselves to hold startlingly conservative<\/a> views about female sexuality. One says that when an attractive woman on Tinder propositioned him for a one-night stand he was so taken aback that he started ‘hallucinating’.<\/p>\n Bergstr\u00f6m\u2019s ‘privatization of intimacy’ doesn\u2019t seem to have made dating any better. I realised too, while reading<\/a>, that there is a strange, uncomfortable public side to all of this not covered in the book<\/a>. It is now common for people to share screenshots of messages from strangers on dating apps on social media<\/a> for public<\/a> disapproval … I\u2019d surely rather be gossiped about for sleeping with someone from my uni course.”<\/p>\n aus: Rachel Connolly: Apps promised a sexual revolution<\/a> but they have just made dating weird. The Guardian online, 28.12.21, im Internet<\/a>.<\/p>\n